How To Define Success on Your Own Terms

Let’s chat about what I mean when I say unapologetic. Why do I want to talk about this? Because I use that word all the time. And I need to make sure that everyone is clear on what I mean when I say unapologetic. So let’s dive in.

Unapologetic Empowerment

My big vision of my business, of why I have my podcast “Discussions with Devan”, of why I write these blogs and why I started my business, is to create a world filled with unapologetically successful women. Now, that is a super simple phrase, but it has so much deep-seated meaning behind it. We, as women, are often so apologetic. We apologize for having opinions and thoughts. We doubt ourselves. We second-guess ourselves. We juggle multiple roles and responsibilities, trying to keep everyone happy. But it’s time to change that narrative.

Defining Success

Being unapologetically successful means we get to define what success is for ourselves. It’s not about meeting society’s expectations or conforming to a mold that doesn’t fit us. Success is highly personal and unique to each individual. It’s not about a monetary number or external validation. It’s about embracing who we are and what makes us happy.

Breaking Free from Expectations

Society often bombards us with expectations of what success should look like. Whether it’s being a stay-at-home mom or climbing the corporate ladder, we’re constantly being told how we should live our lives. But the truth is, success means different things to different people. It’s about finding fulfillment and satisfaction in the path we choose, regardless of how it aligns with societal norms.

Remembering Your Strengths

Sometimes, in the midst of life’s chaos, we forget about the things that make us successful. We forget about our achievements, character strengths, and the unique qualities that make us who we are. That’s why I want to share a practical strategy with you – creating a word bank.

Creating Your Word Bank

A word bank is a space where you can store all the things that define you. It can be as simple as a Google Doc, a notebook, or even your phone’s notes. Inside your word bank, you can jot down your character strengths, awards you’ve received, jobs you’ve had, volunteer roles, and moments in time that shaped you.

Here are some prompts to use to get started creating your Word Bank

List ALL the titles you have. E.g. Mom, Wife, Sister, Dog Walker, Chef, Program Coordinator, House Manager, etc.
List ALL the tasks you do under each title.
List ALL the jobs you have now and have done in the past.
List ALL the volunteering you have done.
List ALL the hobbies you have now and have tried in the past.
List ALL the awards you have earned, even made up ones.
List ALL your personal achievements. These are ones related to you, not your education or career. E.g. Kept friendships for over 10+ years even though we live in different states.
List ALL the achievements you have had in your professional life. E.g. Earned promotion earlier than typical 90 day process.
List ALL the achievements you have had in your educational path. E.g. Received all A’s on every English paper I wrote in college.
List ALL the reasons & problems people come to you to ask for input or advice about.
List ALL your needs. Everything you need in your life. E.g. Daily quiet time, quality time with my partner, freshly painted nails each week, flowers for every holiday, etc. DO NOT BE AFRAID TO NEED THINGS.
List ALL the things that make you happy. E.g. trips to Target, walks with my dogs, beautiful paintings, watching cheesy romance movies, new business plans, etc.
List ALL the things that light you up. E.g. adventures, new recipes, time with my family, time alone, meditating
List ALL the words you would use to describe yourself. E.g. loyal, charismatic, determined, night owl, intense, good skin, etc.

Harnessing the Power of Your Word Bank

Having a word bank allows you to look back and be reminded of your accomplishments and the incredible journey you’ve been on. Whenever self-doubt creeps in or when you need a boost, your word bank will be there to remind you of your worth. It’s a powerful tool to combat the societal lies that try to hold us back.

Accessing Your Word Bank

Your word bank doesn’t have to be completed all at once. Take your time and add to it as you remember moments and achievements. It’s an ongoing document that grows with you. Carry it with you wherever you go, be it on your phone or in a physical notebook. Your word bank will not only help you in moments of self-reflection but also serve as a resource when writing resumes, bios, or even when working with a life coach.
Bestie, it’s time to show up unapologetically successful. Embrace the power of defining success on your own terms. Remember that success is not a destination, but a journey of self-discovery. Create your word bank, and when doubts arise, look at it and be reminded of your incredible strengths and achievements. You are unique, phenomenal, and deserving of success. Trust yourself, believe in yourself, and love yourself. I know you can do it. I believe in you.

Want to hear me talk about all this? Listen to this episode of Discussions with Devan for more support.

Want more support around showing up unapologetically? Click here to grab access to my private audio course today.



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